I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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