finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
