Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When are your genitals available?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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