i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
