sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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