i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
