When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
