How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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