He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
