Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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