another moral hangover. fuck.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize