..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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