He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
