sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
