my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My vagina is very pro this idea
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