I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
