I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
