You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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