AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
