Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
and you fell through a lawn chair
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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