I want to have your abortion
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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