I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
