her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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