I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
