Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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