omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He better not be in your backpack
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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