remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
