Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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