Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How does it feel to date your dad?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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