covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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