Umm I'm too high to move.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
