So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
