Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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