Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
