garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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