Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
