Everything about him screamed your future.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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