Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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