Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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