Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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