her vagine was all disorganized.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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