Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
whose ass print is on the piano?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
