They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
