Well douche your snatch and let's go!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
