I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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