so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
