ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
