I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
