i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
