I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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