You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm passing your future prison.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
