i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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