either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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