It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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