You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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