My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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