i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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