i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
