i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
