i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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