he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize