I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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