i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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