its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
